2009 If I Ran the Zoo #2: Uncaged
By Felicia Chernesky
If I ran the zoo, if I had the keys
to unlock John Locke, John Adams, John Donne.
I’d free philosophers, poets, with ease.
First they’d blink. Then think. Then soak up the sun.
We’d monorail ride and hypothesize
on this upside-down world history course.
The painters would paint. The statesmen surmise.
Archeologists dig deep to the source.
Going the distance demands resistance,
and bravery, with its fair share of fun.
The poet would speak, at Logic’s insistence,
lend advice to the West setting sun:
“Do not go gentle into that good night.”
When I survey the zoo, I know he’s right—
2009 If I Ran the Zoo #3: Sleeping Quarters
By Carol Iannone
If I were the one that was running the zoo,
I would follow th’example of Gerald McGrew.
I too would resist the awf’lly old fashioned,
In favor of quelque chose new.
Something to shock and to make people see
How odd is the notion of two different sexes,
But how joyous a thing it could be.
Girls sleep in one dorm and boys in another,
Imagine the novelty!
And reduction in problems and anger and vengeance
And increase in dignity!
Let the outdated fem’nists and gray libertarians
Cling to the old and outworn.
Bring on the curfews and visiting hours,
And herald the new lovely morn!
How would YOU run the higher ed zoo? To submit your "If I Ran the Zoo," send your text or video to [email protected].