Department Chair*

Robert Maranto

Just a quick word, Wes

just us, my office.

Please trust me on this.

Wes, I know that you're

a hit in lit crit

one of the poets . . .

but sex with students

was never pretty

even at 30.

It goes at 40

from most unseemly

to downright dirty.

Gossip grows badly

groups protest madly

and all want money.

So please Wes, just say no

before crass counselors

rapacious reporters

and litigious lawyers

come, and you have to go.

*Inspired by a conversation overheard at Baba Boudan’s coffee shop in Fayetteville, AR.

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