The National Association of Scholars is pleased to announce its new line of accessories and official stuff.
Our fall line is a collection of hand-crafted hobo sticks or, as they sometimes called, bindle sticks. A “bindle” is dialect for bundle, and refers to bed roll or kerchief bag carried over the shoulder on the end of the stick.
Why is NAS offering bindle sticks? We went in search of distinctive high-quality paraphernalia that would convey the NAS message. What better way to display the marginalization of the traditional-minded scholar in today’s university than to picture his fate? The hobo stick is the instantly recognizable symbol of the American cast-off, forced to hit the road.
Not all of our members have been literally reduced to riding the rails, but many of them feel that way. Moreover, the growing class of adjunct faculty members, many of whom work several jobs on different campuses without any of the perquisites of full-time appointments are already living a kind of hobo existence.
The purpose of offering stuff, of course, is to raise money, so our hobo sticks are not a bargain. If you really need to go on the bum, we suggest you find your own conveniently sized piece of dead tree. But if you want to show the campus and the world your proud disdain for political correctness, the NAS hobo stick is the perfect accessory for your next trip to an affirmative action bake sale.
NAS hobo sticks are guaranteed hand-crafted by underemployed liberal arts students and Ph.D.s. Each has been sculpted from Vermont hardwoods, branded with an “NAS,” and finished in polyurethane. Hobo sticks come with a classic red handkerchief suitable for wrapping your own bindle, as well as a few NAS-labeled objects to get you started on the road that comes after academic perdition.
The NAS hobo stick comes in three models:
#1 The Summers’ Shaft
The perfect accouterment for gentlemen of leisure, on the lam from the Ivy League.
#2 The Terminal Appointment
For the Ph.D. on the go, when the dean says "no."
#3 The Academic Offshoot
For the scholar determined to go his own way.
For a tax-deductible donation of $250, the NAS will provide you with the hobo stick of your choice.