You Lose Weight, I'll Donate

Ashley Thorne

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that an anonymous, 117-pound, 87-year-old donor has struck a deal with Stevens College. She'll donate $1 million to her alma mater if the college's 200 employees lose 250 pounds collectively by January 1, 2011, "and if the president, Dianne M. Lynch, sheds at least 25 pounds, the donor will add $100,000 to her gift." Lynch is taking the challenge in stride: "It's about investing in the people who work at this college." And so employees at the Missouri women's college are starting their diets. According to the Chronicle, President Lynch said, "Sometimes you just need that extra push, and a million dollars is one giant push." It's one giant push alright. What if the employees lose a mere 249 pounds? If they fall short and forfeit the million, there will be finger-pointing. I  keep imagining that one employee who couldn't seem to do her part. Just think, not only are you not losing weight, but everyone you work with also hates you. And you cost your college a million dollars. Talk about a miserable life in store for the curvy among the Stevens staff. In the end, everyone loses--either pounds or a million dollars. This could get interesting.

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November 24, 2021

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